Try a Little Kindness in 2022
Brandon Sun, January 3, 2022 - David McConkey
For the new year, I offer a
book suggestion that may resonate with some of you. But I bet even
more of you will roll your eyes. Even facing some eye rolling, I
will plunge forward with some musings.
The book is A Year of Living Kindly: Choices That Will Change
Your Life and the World Around You. It was authored in 2018 by
Donna Cameron, an American writer who works in the field of
consulting and management with non-profit organizations.
Why do I imagine that many readers right now are rolling their eyes?
Because this is one of those syrupy, schmaltzy, self-help books.
And, to boot, it is one of those books chronicling “a year of living
. . .”
The book is laid out to be read weekly over a year in 52 chapters.
The chapters begin with an inspiring epigraph. They go on to explore
various challenges, advantages and contemplations of being kind.
Examples are kindness being related to gratitude and being kind to
people we don’t like. Chapters wind up with suggestions to improve
your life with “kindness in action.”
The book is further separated into four “seasons.” There is the
“season of discovery,” the “season of understanding,” the “season of
choosing,” and the “season of becoming.”
If your eyes are still rolling, then don’t get or read this book.
And don’t borrow it from the Brandon Public Library, which is where
I discovered it.
I understand the eye rolling and it points to a conundrum. On
opinion pages like this one, it is easy to consider topics relating
to political, economic or other problems. It is much harder to look
at loftier or more positive topics. Like, what is this all for? What
are some solutions? How do you live a good life?
Of course, reading about and reflecting on these big ideas is a good
thing. But even a description of a big topic can end up sounding
simplistic, clichéd, contrived. Take, as an example, “a year of
living kindly.”
Anyway, I would like to summarize four learnings I have drawn from
this book and from other sources. Learnings that I think are
appropriate for the start of a new year, the midst of a pandemic or
– really – any old time.
My first learning is that kindness is vital to both individual
well-being and societal health. Practising kindness is good not only
for us in a spiritual sense, but also physically and mentally. We
feel good and we are rewarded by such bonuses as reduced stress,
improved immune system, slowed aging and lowered blood pressure.
Talk about a win-win!
Second, our efforts at kindness are nourished by attention from both
the heart and the head. Being kind does not always come to us
naturally. We benefit by becoming more aware of kindness, and by
working to strengthen our “kindness muscle.” But the kindness that
grows out of our natural empathy can be limited. There is a role
here for employing concepts like “rational compassion” and
“effective altruism.”
Third, kindness is best when it includes oneself. Self-compassion is
best understood not as being selfish, but instead as building a
foundation for compassion in general. “If we cannot be kind to
ourselves,” Cameron writes, “we have little to offer others.”
Self-compassion runs counter to a common theme at this time of year.
For instance, a popular New Year's resolution is to lose weight.
But, for most folks, this is not being kind to oneself or even a
practical idea. Diets almost never succeed. So, likely, trying to
lose weight is imposing an impossible burden on yourself.
A much better approach than trying to lose weight is tuning into the
notion of “intuitive eating.” A key insight of intuitive eating is
the power of setting aside “self-control” and instead embracing
“self-care.” In other words, be kind to yourself. Why not try that
as a New Year's resolution?
Fourth, kindness is a good response to our often bitter, hateful and
angry civic discourse. Kindness can be a framework for dealing with
those with whom we disagree.
Other people can stubbornly cling to terrible ideas. Yes, we should
be open-minded and listen to other perspectives. But we must
challenge what we perceive as wrong. At the same time, we can
respect the humanity of the people holding those bad ideas.
Here’s my mantra for the kind citizen: with ideas, be tough; with
people, be gentle.
For me, the benefit of thinking about and working on exercising
kindness is the value of books like A Year of Living Kindly. But whether you are
nodding your head or rolling your eyes, I wish you kindness in the
new year.
See also:
A Year of Living Kindly . . . on Amazon.com
Book Explores a
Year of Living Spiritually
Author Upends Beliefs About Human Kindness
An Idea for the Year Changeover: Write Your Life
Story
Book Explores Gratitude for the World in a Cup of Coffee
More ReviewsPopular Right Now:
- 15 Tips for Healthy Eating
- Quality of Life, Well-Being Research Something We Can Feel Good About
- Diets Don't Work, So What Does?
- Political Contributions: Top Ten Canadian Tax Tips
- Nestle Fitness 14 Day Weight Loss Program; What is Wrong Here?
- Charitable Donations: Top Ten Canadian Tax Tips
Must Read Books:
The 4-Hour Workweek:
Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich

What You Don't Know About Religion (But Should)

In Defense of Food:
An Eater's Manifesto

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up:
The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

Don't
Even Think About It:
Why Our Brains are Wired to Ignore Climate Change

Like This? Share It!
Press Ctrl + D to Bookmark!